Amritsar

I arrived in Amritsar at eight in the morning with three of my friends after taking a night train from Delhi. We didn't have any firm plans about where we would stay or how long we would spend in the city. The Golden Temple is the main attraction in Amritsar. It is a beautiful Sikh temple that is well worth the trip. Sikhism is a very inclusive religion and we were told that there is a hostel to stay in at the Golden Temple for pilgrims and foreigners.

We headed for the Golden Temple from the train station and hoped for the best. It was a little confusing at first getting to the temple. At one point we were wandering around the temple grounds without our shoes, all of our bags, and scarves over our heads. We had to take off our shoes and cover our heads on the temple grounds. We were stopped by a police officer and he was really nice. He made a point to warn us about pick pockets and show us the way to the temple. The hostel is on the grounds of the Golden Temple, literally a 2 minute walk away.

We showed up at the hostel and there was a man with a full beard and turban who warmly greeted us and ushered us into the rooms. The hostel is totally free and our area is specifically for foreigners. I met some of the coolest people at this hostel. There was one cute, 21 year old girl from France who was travelling on her own through north India for five months (until the money runs out). She came to India speaking only French and learned English in India during the time that she was here. I was amazed because we were having a full conversation and although she had a strong french accent, I did not have any trouble understanding her.

Between the hostel and the temple there is a dinning hall which is also free and included with the hostel . We followed the noise of the clanging dishes to the dinning hall, which was a crazy place. The dinning hall is completely run by volunteers and it runs off of donations. As you come in there are groups of people sitting on the floor cutting vegetables and prepping food. Then there are people on either side of the entrance that hand you sectioned plates, bowls, and spoons. You come into the main dinning hall and there are long mats set up along the floor where everyone sits and is served by people who come by with bread, rice pudding, dall, and other curries. After you eat you hand your dishes to people who are pass then down a line of people and wash them. It is a very amazing and efficient process.

I was amazed by how welcoming and inclusive the hostel and dinning hall were. There were places to leave donations but we were not directly asked at any time to leave one and people did not think twice about letting us sleep in the hostel or eat our meals in the dinning hall.

The Golden Temple itself was beautiful and it is so hard to describe. It is open 24 hours a day and since our hostel was a quick walk to the temple, we went several times in the day.

We only spent one day in Amritsar but it was a full, exciting day. After being in Jaipur for so long I forgot how much I love being on the road and being able to see new amazing things all the time. After getting settled in at the Golden Temple, we went to Jallianwala Bagh, which is a park that commemorates those Indians killed and wounded by the British authorities there in 1919. In the park there is a well into which hundreds of people jumped into to avoid bullets. There was some sort of demonstration taking place while we were there.

After that we went to Mata Hindu Temple. This temple was not an ancient temple but it was really fun. It felt like I was in a fun house because there would be rooms of mirrors from floor to ceiling and crazy slanted walkways. Also there were caves built into the temple that you had to crawl through and at the end of the temple there was a cave with water in it that you had to walk through.

Amritsar is close to the Pakistan border and every evening a closing ceremonies takes place which we were told was worth going to. We met up with four people from our hostel, two people from Israel and two from Denmark. We hired a guy to take us to the border for the ceremonies in his van and on the way we picked up an Indian family to squeeze in for the ride. There were bleachers set up on the Indian and Pakistan side of the border. The Indian side had a much better turnout but my friend later learned that this may be due to the fact that it is Ramadan.

Before the ceremony started, there was an opportunity for people to come down from the stands and dance to the music that they were playing. It seemed like so much fun so I went down and joined. I could recognize a few of the songs because they were from the Bollywood films that I watched in my host family. When Jai Ho came on I was singing along and the Indian women were impressed. I tried to pick up on some of their dance moves and they were more than happy to show me. Some women came up to me and held my hands and we spun each other around. This seemed to be a normal thing to do on the dance floor.

The closing ceremonies itself felt like a kind of pep rally almost between India and Pakistan. The fans would chant slogans about their nation in a call and response style. There was also a part where one man from each country would hold a note for as long as they could and it would be a competition to see who could do it for the longest.

The military put on a performance in which they were walking in a synchronized fashion and would do huge kicks with their legs. They were so serious and fierce- men and women.

In the evening at the hostel all of the rooms in the building as well as the entire courtyard were filled with Indian families. I could not believe that so many people had fit in this space.  

JAIPUR- Home Stay Experience

For the last month I have been living with an Indian family in Jaipur and studying at Kanodia Girls Collage. It has definitely been a highlight of the trip because I was able to get a different perspective on life within an Indian house and get a better understanding of the culture. My host parents were an older couple whose children had already grown up and live away from home. My host dad was a retired sociology professor from the University of Rajasthan. He was very formal with some aspects of my stay and told me that I could either call him Mr. Modi or Professor Modi, although I could call his wife and my host mom “Ma”. Mr. Modi was very interesting to talk to about almost any subject. He spoke English perfectly and was well travelled. The focus of his research was on leisure and during the time that we were staying in Jaipur, he had to leave for a few days at a time to speak at different international conferences.

Ma was a very cute lady who was always making sure that my host partner and I were well taken care of. Her English was not as strong as Mr. Modi's so we had a little bit of trouble communicating sometimes. When it came to making us eat more and more, Ma's English was great. Her best lines were “one more chapati?!”, “you need to eat more”, “you finish this”, and “anything more?”. She was very concerned with not letting any food go to waste so every meal she took it as her challenge to make sure that everything was finished. Eventually Ma started to understand that we were not going to eat more than two pieces of bread with our meals and she stopped making more. Since Ma and Mr. Modi's marriage, Ma was responsible for keeping the house in order and raising the children while Mr. Modi finished his education and then went off to work. I felt as though she treated my host partner and I as her children when we were staying with her.

Every morning before school, Ma would prepare us our usual breakfast of cornflakes, papiya, 2 pieces of toast, and chai tea. Many mornings she would also give us sweets and cookies and make sure that we tried each kind. Ma would also pack our lunches in the morning and see us off to school with a hug or a pat on the hip. In the evening, when we returned home from school at about 6:00, we would have tea with Ma. She always arranged a tray for us with fruit, cookies, and salty snacks. If she felt that we were not eating enough then she would tell us which ones were homemade and then we would eat at least those.

I really enjoyed this time with Ma because it was a calm time of the day for her when she wasn't preparing or serving food and could relax with us. We watched a lot of television at this time with Ma and it turned out to be a good way to get over the language barrier a bit. Ma loved her Indian soaps and almost every night we watched a show called “Hitler Didi” (meaning strong sister) from 8:00 to 8:30.

Ma wore a different sari everyday and so out of curiosity, one day after tea I asked to see her sari collection. 

Mr and Ms. Modi had a servant come to the house everyday day named Raju. He was about my age and spoke English a little bit better than Ma. He worked everyday from 9-9 in the house mostly cleaning, gardening, and helping Ma in the kitchen. It was really hard for me to get used to this kind of situation and in the beginning I would try and do everything for myself and thank him for everything. Ma would sometimes tell me to let Raju do it and one day he told me that it he didn't mind doing things for us because it was his job. Raju would also watch tv with us in the evenings. He was a big fan of Bollywood and Cricket and he would try his best to explain who were the top “heroes” and “heroins” (celebrities) of Bollywood and the rules of cricket.

It was really interesting to see the family dynamic and especially the relationship between men and women in the family. Ma would do all of the cooking for meals and she would often not eat her meal until we were finished. We would eat breakfast and dinner with Mr. Modi and Ma would be going back and forth from the kitchen to the table serving us. This was partly due to the fact that Indians like to have fresh bread with their meals so Ma would make the chapatis fresh one at a time so that when you finished your first then your second piece would be hot and fresh. After Ma was satisfied that we had everything that we needed then she would sit with us and eat her food.

For one week during our stay, Mr. Modi had to travel for a conference so their daughter in law came to help out in the house. Prinka was about 30 and her English was really good so it was easier to communicate with Ma through her. Prinka took on the same domestic responsibilities that Ma had during her stay. On the last day of her stay, Prinka's husband (Mr.Modi's son) came to stay at the house and we had breakfast with him. Ma brought out toast for him and when he father told him to put the butter on his toast while it is still hot he said that his wife always does it. As if that was her que, Prinka came from the kitchen and buttered his toast.

One of the best conversations that I had with my host father was on the last evening of my stay and we started to talk about marriage. Apparently about 90% of marriages in India today are arranged and parents feel as though it is their duty to find a spouse for their children. Out of the six children that he has, all but one are arranged. His oldest son was an ISS officer (very competitive, prestigious position) and he married out of love to a woman that he met at a collage function. He told me that there was some challenges to this marriage because they were marrying out of their community (I understood this as meaning a subgroup of their caste). He also said that it is very difficult and costly to marry four daughters. Dowries are illegal in India and Mr. Modi was insistent that they didn't agree with or partake in giving a dowry but there was still some kind of money transaction that took place.  

Indian Wedding

At breakfast one day, our host family invited my host partner, Rachael and I to the wedding that they would be attending the following evening. The wedding was for my host father, Professor Modi's good friend's son. Apparently wedding dates are chosen based on the astrology and this would be one of the last days for weddings for the next 30 days. It was really great timing and we could not be more excited to attend the wedding. We were told that it would be a very nice wedding, although not as over the top as some other weddings in which the family spends huge amounts of money.

Although a sari may appear to be one piece of fabric that is elaborately wrapped in order to make an outfit, it actually consists of three separate pieces. There is a long underskirt that holds up the sari, the blouse, which looks like a short belly top that is tailored to each person from the extra fabric of the sari and the sari itself, which is the long fabric that is folded and wrapped.

In the evening, Ma let Rachael and I each borrow a sari and we took turns having her wrap them for us. The whole process took about 10 to 15 minutes although she assured me that she is much faster at wrapping her own in the morning because she is in the routine.

Every sari is the same size and due to my height, Ma had a harder time wrapping my sari and had to use extra pins to keep my sari from falling down. Normally, women will fold the fabric of the sari so that it falls nicely then tuck the top of the folds into the underskirt but this would make it too short for me and Ma had to rethink her sari folding strategy for me. In the end, I had 5 safety pins holding my sari nicely in place and Ma only had one pin.

We arrived at the wedding and at the first area there were two elaborate chairs on the stage and a set of chairs facing the stage. On one of the chairs sat the groom and he was dressed in plenty of gold with a large hat on. When we were leaving at the end of the night, the bride had joined the groom on the stage in her chair. They both looked tired and a little uncomfortable with all of the attention that they were receiving. Indian weddings go on for many days with different rituals and ceremonies.

Rachael and I were the only white people at this wedding and we drew a lot of attention because of this. Many of the guests attending the wedding were very kind and welcoming. They really appreciated the fact that we were wearing saris. Many people came up to us and told our host parents that we looked great in the saris. I think that a few of the older men were interested in Rachael and I but our host father would tell them no. It seemed as though each time I looked up from my meal or conversation that there were many eyes on me.

The younger children were very curious about us but were very shy to be around us. There was one little boy who follow us around for most of the night and would just stare at us. I said hello to him at one point and he got a little embarrassed. My host mother told him in Hindi that he could shake our hands and he was very happy to do this.

The food at this wedding was really good and by the end of the night I was feeling a little uncomfortable having my stomach showing in my sari. My host parents understood that we could not eat everything at this wedding because it could make us sick when Indian people could eat it and be ok. They were very good about explaining what everything was and telling us which foods to avoid.

We started with a few appetizers which came on small paper plates. Following this we went for the main course, which was more than enough for me. At the main course there was rice and papadan (type of bread) to go with the meal and dessert to finish the meal. At this point I thought that the meal was over. There was another station with a tandoor oven and they were preparing fresh naan and roti. We had to try this bread because it was so fresh. Our host family was shocked when we said that we did not want gee (butter) on top of our bread.

We were standing and eating our meal, which actually worked out well for me. Since I was holding the plate in my left hand then I could only use my right hand to eat with. I was not tempted to tear my bread with both hands (In India, you serve with your left hand and eat with your right hand).

Our host father told us that we had to try some more Indian sweets, then have ice cream before we would leave the wedding. I tried a few of the desserts that I was not too crazy about and then they brought out a dessert that tasted just like funnel cake with a sticky icing. These desserts were in smaller shapes that almost looked similar to pretzels and they were so good while they were still warm. I was already quite full from everything that I had already eaten at the wedding but could not resist eating seconds of this dessert.

I could see be the way people treated Professor Modi (my host father) that he was very respected. Each person that greeted him would put their hands together, say “namaste”, and touch his feet.

Temple

My host family told me that the particular God for their household is Ganesh, which is the elephant god. One evening after dinner they asked me if I wanted to join them at the temple and I said that I would love to. It was a Wednesday, which is the worship day for Ganesh.

On the way to the temple, we went to a sweets shop which was apparently a very famous Indian sweets shop in Jaipur. I was unsure what we were going to do with the sweets until we got to the temple. Along the entrance to the temple many beggars were lined up and there were also temporary sweets stands set up.

I followed as my host family did and took off my shoes then washed my hands. On the stairs up to the temple, my host parents bowed their heads and touched the steps as they walked in. At each door to the temple there is a bell that each person must ring when they enter and some people will ring this many times. Mr. Modi said that maybe this was to tell Ganesh that you are here and to listen to your prayers. I noticed that this temple is much more informal than a catholic temple- it is open from 4am to 11pm and people will come at any time and do individual worship. At the front of the temple there is a shrine to Ganesh with many plates of sweets around it. There are two men standing in the area with the shrine and they are taking donations and offerings. 

When you make a donation, you get a sweet from the plates around the shrine. Ma gave me 10 rupees and I was given a small handful of sweets. When she made her second donation of 100 rupees, she was given a huge sweet the size of an orange. I did not know what to do with my sweet so I awkwardly held the buttery sweet in my hand until I realized that no one else was still holding their sweets. At this point I cautiously started eating my sweet and Ma said “Good! Eat”, which is a typical comment from her. Mr. Modi later told me that sweets are auspicious.

The temple was busy with people pushing through to make their offering and pray to Ganesh. Ma and I stoped at one point in the temple where there was a prayer written on the wall in Hindi and people were reading this prayer to themselves and individually praying.

When we exited the temple, Mr. Modi broke up some of the sweets that he had purchased into small pieces and handed them to strangers outside of the temple. This seemed to be a common thing to do because most of them accepted and those that did not respectfully put their hands together, just like when people say “namaste”.  

My joint birthday with Lord Rama

For nine days up until April 1^st, my host mom had been fasting as a religious duty. During her fast she could only eat one meal at the middle of the day and warm milk in the evening. Until I came to India I did not know that I shared my birthday (April 1) with the Hindu Lord Rama.

Lord Rama's birthday is also a celebration of children. Before those who were fasting could end their fast they must feed the children. It is almost like an Indian version of Halloween. The children spend the day going around to the houses in the neighbourhood eating and at the end of their stay at each house they are given a small gift. At my house the children got a small Tupperware container, 10 rupees, and two sweets.

I decided to stay around the house for the morning to see the celebration. In India it is seen as a sign of respect to touch the feed of elders when greeting them, however on this day, Ma greeted all of the children this was when they came into the house. In the living room, Raju set mats on the floor for the children to sit on and they were served Punjabi style. As they were eating, Ma tied the sacred thread around their wrist and put red paint and rice on their forehead.

In the evening we had a big feast to celebrate my birthday as well as Lord Rama's.